6 reasons for Divorce - Discussions with Happily Ever After...? authors Janet Clegg and Hilary Browne Wilkinson
In Happily Ever After…? authors Janet Clegg and Hilary Browne Wilkinson, both former top divorce lawyers, discuss the six biggest areas in a relationship that can lead to divorce.
Dealbreakers
While you're still in the first flush of love and even afterwards, you'll probably overlook many of your partner's flaws and vice-versa. But there are some things that can't be forgiven - these are deal breakers - and you need to recognise what you will and won't accept from a long-term partner.
Money
Money can be one of the major causes of conflict within any relationship. Remember: there is no such thing as common-law marriage in England and Wales so ensure you are protected if you choose to live together, have children but remain unwed.
Family
Family life can be difficult and sometimes marrying your own complex family with another's can be fraught with problems. Don't view your partner in isolation - look at their family and their friends. Learning about your partner's nearest and dearest is vital in realising whether you can make your own relationship last.
Conflict
Conflict can actually be good for a healthy, long-lasting relationship. It's not what you argue about that's important, so much as HOW you argue. For instance, a quiet resentment and moodiness can often sound the death knell whereas thrashing out issues can clear the air. How do you deal with conflict? How does your partner deal with conflict?
Self Awareness
Jackie was abused as a child while Callum came from a stable family background. She would often sulk or become introverted until he couldn't handle her moods and was on the verge of walking out of their marriage. It was only when Jackie finally broke down and revealed details of the abuse she suffered that Callum understood why she behaved the way she did. Jackie really should have sought help before she got involved with Callum. It's important to understand yourself, where you come from and your family background if you're to have a long-lasting partnership with someone else.
Love
The questions you should be asking yourself if you really want your relationship to work: what does love mean to you? What does love mean to your partner? How does your partner express their love? How realistic are you about what your love actually means?
